Saturday, May 10, 2008

A Day Not Like Others

Dear Mother

I hope you are doing really fine in spite of your health. Forgive me for not coming up to visit you as often as you and I wish. I hope Dad is also doing ok.

I supposed I have to tell you a few things which cross my mind since our last coversation.

Tomorrow is the second Sunday in the month of May. Around here where I live and work, most people would celebrate Mother's Day. I am not sure you are aware of this or even care about this, although I know you have discharged your motherly duties to your kids excellently. Indeed I sometime wonder how some women who call themselves mothers by just simply giving births to babies and yet celebrate this Mother's Day. Some of them, I am sure, do not even know what being mother is all about. I mean, pardon me, I have to compare them with you. You started motherhood during the Japanese Occupation of our country. I remeber you telling me that Dad was detained by the Japanes just before my eldest sister was born. Those were the dark days which are now parts of our history when you had to survive with tapioca. I also remember quite well how you would work non-stop morning as a teacher to your students and afternoon going to the paddy field helping Dad taking care of those paddy. These were a few examples of sacrifices that you did for us. I wonder whether anymore paddy field left in this country with the shortage of rice people are talking about now. I remember how you care about all eight of us including your eldest two daughters who were already married by then. You have not stopped caring and worrying in that way until now even though all of us now have our own family and may be nearly quailified as you and dad to be called parents. That is simply you, Mother!

Mother

I was just thinking this Mother's Day thing is actually about making money by some people. The advertisement for gifts are almost everywhere. The value of these gifts are questionable. Of course the recepients would gladly accept that. Its almost nothing to do with the appreciation of the sacrifices by all mothers. I mean the hype is actually creating a lot of dirts under the carpet. For instance, almost every mother in this part of the world would be bombarded by messages ofMother's Day. For those who have children who can afford, the mothers would probably be given lots of gifts by their children. Mothers will be treated to sumptious breakfast or lunch. They will also be taken to places of happiness. There will surely be a lot of happy faces. I, however, can't stop to wonder how would other mothers i.e. mothers whose children are not in a position to give anything but silent love, feel about this hype and all. Would they be hurt and suffer in silent thinking about how unlucky they were? Would they feel sidelined and ignored for the simple fact that their life was fated? I dont really know cause I dont think I could afford hurting them more by asking.

Mother

Pardon me for rumbling this way. Its just that I want to assure you, although I have never given you any gift as advertised extensively on Mother's day, I hope my give of love which is always there would be more significant than those money can buy. I just could not know what else I could give, knowing you will not be happy for any of my sacrifices but only for my happiness with my own family. People say, its the thought that counts but every now and then the presence does also count.

I am sure, Mother, you are also shaking your head looking at the qualities of mothers today. Of course the difference between mothers of today and mothers of your time are like the sky and the earth. To some people they say this is just because of the evolution of human life. We are now in the IT era when everything has to be fast and the world is becoming borderless to the extent that you have a lot of fast tracked mothers and mothers who seem clueless to the border of being a mother, a wife and a career woman. Some will abdicate the responsibility of being a mother to their maids. It is fine if it is limited to the household chores but most often it goes beyond that. There were cases when young kids were left with the maids, growing up in the care of the maids and even speaking in the language of the maids'. These mothers would have very little time with their kids yet these are the same people who celebrate Mother's Day perhaps more than any other mothers.

When I said the fast track mothers, I mean those who choose not to get pregnant and giving birth as a naturl process of marriage but rather prefer adoption. Of course it is a noble cause but how on earth that can be considered noble when single women do these? They will then use this as a reason not to get married because they have worldly needs including a child they call their baby. Can you imagine, Mother, what would happen to the institution of marriage which really forms the fabric of the society?

Mother

Forgive me for asking a lot of questions - not that I want you to worry about. Its more for me to self examine our situation here and I hope I could find answers which I would use as guidance to be shared with your lovely grandchildren. By the way, thank you for all your love and care for my kids and my other half. I know how happy you are everytime you see them or even hear their voices over the phone. My only regret is that they are now growing up and speak to you even less. I will try to get them to improve on this, Mother. As you are also aware, I am really thankful to God that with all the parental tips I learned from you and dad I have managed to raise them to be good and filial sons and daughters although not as good as what you two did for me. This also I promise to improve.

Last but not least, Mother, just be known that, you are remembered everyday and the prayers for your well beings as my gifts will never cease. My wish is that you and Dad will always feel the warmth of love and tender care from my other half, my kids and myself. Have a very Happy and Peaceful Mother's Day, everyday!

With Lots of Love

Yours truly,

1 comment:

Faiz Hakim said...

You were planting trees on that very day. I was in Geelong wih mother and my daughter's mother. No celebration whatsoever... but we had fun being in each other company, spending maximum quality time walking, talking, cooking, eating, sight-seing, shopping, eat some more and etc

BTW, Nice piece bro